BassParade: Cheating

Hart’s Mistake: Shoulda Used Tungsten

Is this why Mike did it?

As everyone knows by now, SoCal fisherman Mike Hart stuffed lead weights down bass’ throats to win (temporarily) the WON Bass US Open – and, according to various news reports, may have done so at other tourneys. Come on there, Mike! That’s soooooo 20th Century. Everyone knows by now that tungsten beats lead hands down. Let’s go over the differences:

1. Lead is toxic, man! The bass probably tipped the tourney officials off – swimming upside down, getting easy math problems wrong, licking the livewell, saying the alphabet out of order, etc. This would not have been a problem with tungsten. Hold on – I just read that tungsten is more dense…hmmm.

2. Lead is bigger. Say you swallowed one of those balloons used to make balloon animals, full of sand. Are you going to want to hork it up? You bet. But what if it was one of those water balloon-sized balloons that mules from South America smuggle drugs into the US with. They do okay, right? Okay, maybe not, but you get the point: Smaller weights and maybe the bass wouldn’t have puked them out.

3. Tungsten is harder, so it must be “harder” to detect, right?

4. Tungsten can be plated and colored. So you could’ve made the weights look like hellgrammites, tadpoles, Funyuns or whatever, just not lead weights.

All you cheaters out there make sure you keep this in mind on your next law- and rule-skirting adventures.

3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Steve

    September 15, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    He did not “win (temporarily)”…He was simply in the top 20….

  2. Chris

    September 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    As Steve said, he didn’t win even while cheating. Cliff Pirch won the US Open for the second time. Hart was just hoping to cash a check.

    • admin (mostly Jay)

      September 22, 2010 at 9:44 pm

      My mistake: Shoulda checked the standings. And cheating not to win is sorta pathetic.

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The best, worst and funniest in bassin'! Jay Kumar is the guy who created BassFan.com, co-hosted Loudmouth Bass with Zona, was a B.A.S.S. senior writer and a whole lot more in bassin™. Make sure you sign up for the BassBlaster email!

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